who knew benin had a zoo

Who knew that Benin had a zoo? Not us, until recently. And now that Flynn is obsessed with all four-legged creatures we figured we really better go. Plus, it’s located in nearby Porto Novo where we have some friends we wanted to visit. Perfect.

It’s not exactly the most impressive zoo known to man. Two lions, two baboons, a couple peacocks, some big iguanas, a small crocodile and a fox round out the collection. (Plus hundreds of rabits, but apparently some people got sick recently after touching them so they’re now off limits. Probably a good idea.) But it was something different to do, and in Benin you take all the day-trip opportunities you can get.

Roooooar.
Guess what lions, I can roar too.
Baboon.
Whoa there fake alligator, shut that big mouth of yours.
I may be a baby, but I still know this isn't the real deal.

Go figure, Flynn was unimpressed by the zoo animals. That stinker. But the day wasn’t a total animal-related bust. After the zoo we visited our friends’ house. “Fisssssssssshhhh!” Flynn yelled, racing toward their fish tank. Again. And again. And again. Luckily we somehow managed to survive the afternoon without him capsizing the tank of his new fish friends. Barely.

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girls vs. boys

A month or two ago I invited a young girls soccer team to the American Cultural Center to watch a documentary called Kick Like a Girl, about a girls soccer team in Utah that was so good they started playing in a boys league.

It’s a funny little documentary. In introducing herself one of the little girls says, “When people hear my family is from Utah they think we must be Mormons. We are NOT Mormons. I don’t know what we are, actually, except I do know one thing. My mom says we are definitely DEMOCRATS.”

Okay, you won me over.

But anyway, the Beninese girls soccer team really liked the film. They liked it so much that they decided to challenge a boys soccer team to a match, just like the girls did in Utah. And they invited me to come cheer them on. Which I of course did.

Warming up.

I brought Flynn and Andy along too, and I notified members of the local press in case they were interested in covering it. Turns out they were. They came in droves.

Unfortunately, though, the TV camera crews decided that even more interesting than a girls vs. boys soccer game was a little white American toddler running around blowing bubbles with dozens of Beninese children. I haven’t watched the news yet but I’m a little scared that Flynn is going to get more airtime than the soccer players.

Hello there, new friends.

But… the girls won the game 3-2! In the boys’ defense, though, the girls were all at least a foot or two taller than them. It may not have been evenly stacked.

Posted in Toddler | 3 Comments

meeting a celebri-baby

Although Flynn flew from Cotonou to the States with his grandparents, and although he spent most of my stay in the States in the Midwest with his grandparents, he would be coming to DC to fly with me back to Cotonou.

I find it curious that this was to be my second time flying across the world alone with Flynn, while Andy has yet to once have the pleasure of this experience. Curious indeed.

And this time would be even worse than the first. Before, Flynn had his own seat. This time, since the trip was on our own dime, he wouldn’t.

(Andy would like to note that it’s also curious Alex is not mentioning the easy workdays, sushi and bagels she got to experience in Washington, while he went about business as usual in Cotonou. He thinks he definitely got the raw end of the deal.)

But fortunately the flights went as well as they possibly could have gone. Our DC to Paris flight departed at 11 p.m. After many long conversations both on the phone and at the gate, I managed to get myself the bassinet seat, which meant Flynn had a place to sleep, and sleep he did. Thank goodness he wasn’t a holy terror because the woman next to us on that flight popped up a few days later at the embassy in Cotonou to work with us on a project.

Speaking on people sitting next to you on planes, I’d like to take a moment to register my disapproval of this new trend of parents passing out goodie bags to other travelers as an advance apology for their kids. Parents, please stop doing this. Have you ever gotten a goodie bag from that jerk who insists on claiming your shared armrest the whole flight, and even lets his arm creep quite clearly into your territory? What about from that other jerk sitting in the window seat who seems to purposefully time his bathroom breaks for the moment you fall asleep? You haven’t, and that’s because dealing with annoying people is part of life. Babies and young children traveling on airplanes is part of life. Do your best to keep them in line and not annoy others, and you’ll already be way more considerate than pretty much everyone else. No goodie bag required.

Our second flight went amazing well too, mostly because I managed to befriend a gate agent who changed my seat to be next to one of the few empty seats on the plane, so Flynn got his own. Thank goodness for this because he was awake and active the whole time. Also thank goodness that the plane’s movie system had 101 Dalmatians.

“Flynn, where’s Abbey?”

“Abbey, Abbey, Abbey, Abbey.”

Identifying the Abbeys kept him busy for a while.

In between these two flights we spent a day in Paris. It was quite different from my solo day a few weeks back. Rather than hitting as many sites as possible, we concentrated on one. Parents of toddlers take note: Luxembourg Gardens is a great spot. We strolled through the beautiful grounds. We ate ice cream. Flynn rode a pony, who he of course called Abbey.

He chased pigeons. He watched a marionette show. And he played in the massive, massive playground with little French children who were actually quite sweet to him.

He found himself an American friend too.

He was playing in a giant sandbox when I saw him run over and steal a little girl’s shovel. “Flynn, no,” I started to tell him. “That’s not nice. Give it back.” I looked up to see the little girl’s parents. And they were…

No one else seemed to have any idea who they were, so I played along and let them just enjoy their day.

Posted in Travel | 6 Comments

solo travel

Everyone should at some point in life travel somewhere in the world completely alone.

The last time I did this was when I was 20. I stopped in London for a week en route to a summer study abroad program in Norway. If I remember correctly, I justified this stop with a lie to my mom that a long layover was the only way I could get an affordable plane ticket. (Sorry Mom!)

So I went to London. I stayed in a hostel in a dodgy neighborhood and spent the week wandering aimlessly and taking faux-artsy photos (which I of course thought at the time were just artsy, minus the faux). I had no agenda. I didn’t go on a single guided tour. I woke up late. I went to bed early. I bought baguettes and cheese at grocery stores and ate them as my meals in parks. I got myself in sticky situations and then figured how to get out of them. I people watched. I rode the subway. I didn’t visit a single museum. I did exactly what I wanted, when I wanted. I didn’t have to compromise or explain myself. It was glorious.

I had this trip in mind when deciding whether or not to spend a day by myself in Paris. You see, I would be flying back to the U.S. for work, and since taxpayers no longer spring for diplomats to fly business, we are now allowed a one-day rest stop to break up trips longer than 14 hours in the hopes of making them a tiny bit less miserable. I have skipped this stop on all previous trips because with a dog and/or baby in tow it just seemed like more trouble than it was worth. But this time…

Everyone should travel somewhere in the world completely alone, but you know who should especially make this a priority? New parents. I love my son to pieces, but it’s been a long time since I’ve done exactly what I wanted, when I wanted. But for one day last week I did, and oh my god it was glorious.

My digs were quite a bit nicer than that London stop when I was 20, and my body was much more sore at the end of the day, but otherwise the trip was very similar. I bought a day pass for a boat cruising the Seine. I hopped on and off as my whims dictated, and then I wandered the streets aimlessly until I stumbled upon something interesting. I took faux-artsy photos of course, but by this point in life I’ve accepted the limits of my artistic ability; I just let instagram do the work for me.

Again, I didn’t visit a single museum. Again, I got myself into sticky situations but figured my way out of them. Again, I dined on bread and cheese in a park (this time with wine too). Unlike in London, though, I wasn’t alone. I met up with an old friend and his family who, incidentally, I had met during that Norway summer. I’ve kept up with him over the last decade via Facebook and Christmas cards, and I’ve always admired (and envied) how much travel he, his wife and their three young kids are able to fit into their lives. They were spending the summer in Paris, and over our picnic dinner with the Eiffel tower as backdrop, I had the chance to talk to him more about how this and his other overseas jaunts are possible. What do you know: the reason he can travel so much is because his boss understands its value and structured his company to allow it. As it turns out, his boss is — yep, you guessed it — a retired Foreign Service Officer.

We packed up our picnic at 10 p.m. and I wandered back to my hotel, a little tipsy, with the Eiffel tower twinkling behind me. The next morning I caught an early flight to D.C., from where I am writing to you now. I will be here a little while longer, but you probably won’t hear from me again until I’m back in Benin. I’m focusing on enjoying every moment of my time stateside. There are sushi rolls, cherries and bagels to be eaten. There are Targets, Loehmann’s and Trader Joes to be visited. There are old friends to see and new streets to explore. Oh, and work. I’m here for work, after all, so there will be some of that too.

 

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s visit

Acronyms run rampant in government work. I work in the PD section which is run out of the ACC; we work a lot with ARS Paris, IIP, ECA and AF/PDPD back in WDC. I could go on but won’t.

In the State Department world there’s one acronym that trumps the rest: S, for Secretary of State. So when I saw an email come through a few weeks back with the subject line of “S,” it gave me pause. Sure enough, the Secretary of State was planning to visit Benin on part of her (now infamous) African tour.

This was a really big deal. Benin doesn’t get a lot of high-level visitors. In fact, no U.S. Secretary of State has ever before come here. So this was exciting, but it also meant a lot of work for our tiny Embassy staffed by mostly entry-level officers, including a number of officers who had just arrived at post, and several key positions that were vacant as we awaited other impending arrivals. But we did our best to submit report and report after report outlining for the Secretary’s team the many various scenarios for what she could do while here. (Reports are just as common in government work as acronyms, and obviously each report is referred to by an acronym of its own.)

We were asked for more information or different information, so we produced it, and we awaited confirmation about the plan. But things kept changing. First she would visit at the beginning of the trip, then at the end. First it would be an overnight stop, then she would just come for a day, then it looked like she wasn’t going to be able to come at all. Finally, less than a week before her impending arrival, we got confirmation that she was (probably) coming. It was not certain but was likely enough that we needed to move ahead. So many people came in from Washington and neighboring Embassies to help. We visited sites. We negotiated with the government about how things would go. We wrote reports. We had internal meetings. We drank a lot of coffee. We did all these things many times over.

And then… she arrived!

As anyone who has worked one of these things can attest, the best part is that moment of awe when you’re standing there in the meeting room as the Secretary of State and Beninese President are talking, and wondering, “How in the world did I end up here, as a part of this?”

The only downside was that because I was busy staffing the presidency visit I didn’t get to attend the meet and greet with Embassy staff. Andy didn’t either; he was in charge of the motorcade. But luckily one little member of our family (plus his two visiting grandparents) were there to represent.

Flynn could have perhaps feigned a little more interest.
Hello, goodbye.

 

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five good, five bad

I’m feeling a little uninspired to blog these days. It’s a tough beast, this Foreign Service blogging thing. It’s not that life overseas – life as a U.S. government representative overseas in particular – is boring. It’s not that at all. There’s so much I could say, that I would like to say, but should I? Would what I think is funny be seen as offensive by a Beninese person or third-country national who stumbled upon my blog? I’m in the business of public diplomacy — I definitely don’t want that. Might another Foreign Service Officer judge my words in a way that impacts my career? It certainly happens. And then there’s safety. I think I’m wise enough to withhold the sort of information that could be used for harm, but what if I make a misstep?

Officially, personal blogging is allowed by Foreign Service Officers – allowed, but highly discouraged. I can’t even count how many new blogs I’ve seen pop up over the past few years by excited new hires, only to quickly be abandoned after the “here is why social media is evil and will kill your career and ruin the world” portion of A-100. Okay, there’s no official social media is evil portion, but it comes up. Frequently. I’ve been lucky in that no one has ever told me to stop blogging, but many officers (and their family members) do receive such orders from supervisors or chiefs of mission.

My policy has always been to blog but blog smartly. But more and more, being smart about blogging takes quite a bit of the fun away. Is blogging even a worthwhile pursuit if I’m self-censoring so much that I’m not sharing any of the truly interesting stuff? I don’t know. I’m trying to sort that out.

While I do, let me buy myself some time with this post — a submission to the regular Foreign Service blog roundup. The topic: five good things and five bad things about your current post that somoene considering bidding on a job there should know. Let me point out that my list pertains only to the experience of living overseas as a diplomat. Being in Benin as a Peace Corps volunteer, missionary, or nonprofit worker is definitely a different experience.

Five good:

  • The Embassy community. Cotonou is a tiny post. There are about a dozen direct hire Americans and very few other Americans in the expat community, basically just Peace Corps volunteers and a scattering of missionaries. The larger expat community is mostly Francophone and quite hard to break into if you don’t have much more than the standard FSI 3/3 French. As a result, the Embassy community becomes very tight. It feels a bit like a freshman dorm, before all the athletes find each other and the pre-med students break off and the drama enthusiasts form their own little group. Here, because there’s really little other choice, you end up hanging out with people with different backgrounds and in different life stages — people you probably would have overlooked in another setting. But it keeps things interesting, and the camraderie can be great.
  • The calm. Benin is politically stable. People are friendly and like Americans. The traffic is manageable. It’s an easy place to live if you’re the sort of person who likes a short commute home from work and then to relax at home. Embassy houses are very comfortable. All have at least four bedrooms. Many have large yards and/or a pool. Design choices and construction standards can be… intresting. But still, you’ll be living well. It’s not a high stress environment.
  • Food. Unfortunately I’m not a huge fan of West African food, but I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how many international food options there are. Good pizza is readibly available, as is Thai and Indian as good as any you’ll find in the States, Russian, lots of French, Chinese, Middle Eastern, and some mediocre but passable sushi. Good quality fruits and vegetables are plentiful. There are plenty of grocery stores. Fresh seafood is everywhere.
  • Beaches. Cotonou is on the water, so beach options abound. The strong undertow makes swimming in the ocean tricky, but there are also lots of pools and a nice day resort where swimming is possible in a lagoon. There are a few decent resorts about an hour or two outside of town where you can spend a weekend. There are nice restaurants where you can enjoy delicious fresh catches. If you like beach culture, this is a good place. 
  • Household help. Like many new Foreign Service Officers, I scoffed at the stories from seasoned FSOs during A-100 about how they employed a small army of household staff during some previous tour. I was not like that, I maintained. I was independent. I had lived abroad by myself before. I would be a different sort of FSO. Then I had a kid. Okay, I guess we need a nanny. Then the reality of living abroad and working a real job set in. Okay, maybe a housekeeper wouldn’t be so bad either. It still feels a little strange to have people working for me at my home, but at the end of the day it makes life a whole lot easier, and it’s supporting several families. I’ve come around on the whole household help issue, and the availablity of comparatively low cost and high quality help is a huge advantage to living in Benin.

Five bad:

  • The Embassy community. Like I said, Cotonou is a tiny post. This has the potential to be very good, but it also has the potential to be very bad. In such a small post, one or two bad apples can make life miserable for everyone.
  • The lack of entertainment options. There’s no movie theatre, no mall, no public park. There’s not a lot to do. Social options are the beach, a few hotel pools, restaurants, and pot-lucks at other people’s homes. This rotation can get a little tiring. If you’re single, young, or otherwise able to roll with the punches and be adverturous, you can make your own fun exploring giant markets, nightclubs, traditional festivals in tiny villages, commissioning boat rides, heading up north to a small safari park, and so forth. If you have small kids, health issues, don’t speak French, etc., finding fun but still safe things to do can be trickier. 
  • The isolation. Abandon whatever romantic notions you had about using Benin as a jumping off point for all sorts of exotic African travels. It’s really hard and really expensive to travel within the continent. There are only direct flights to Kenya, Morocco and recently South Africa; they will cost you around $1,000. Unless you’re willing to fly on pretty questionable airlines, anywhere else needs to be reached via Europe. What about driving? Ha. I assure you that Timbuktu is not as close to Cotonou as it appears on a map. And maps don’t factor in dirt roads and makeshift checkpoints. It’s also a long and expensive flight back to the U.S., so it’s unlikely you’ll be getting home more than once in your two-year tour.
  • Slow Internet. I understand that Benin’s Internet used to be a lot worse, so I’m very grateful for the improvements that we enjoy. Still, it’s less than ideal. We pay three or four times as much as we would back in the United States for a connection speed that at its best is tolerable and at its worst is non-functional. It’s probably better than a lot of other places in Africa, but if streaming videos is essential for your happiness or if a spouse is counting on telecommuting to a job back in the States, think again.
  • The difficulty of seemingly simple stuff. Some people love making bagels, sour cream or tortillas from scratch. We are not those people. But here, we’ve been forced to become those people. Your normal routines will take much, much more time here, even with household help to carry a lot of the load. You can’t pay your satellite bill online, and you might have to go to the store three times before the one person who knows how to process your payment is actually around, for example. You may have to hit seven different grocery stores to accomplish what you would back home in one. If one member of your family isn’t working outside of the home, this all is manageable and actually helps fill the time. But with all adult members of your family working, daily chores can eat significantly into your precious free time. 

Of course, this is just our experience as a first-tour couple towing along a baby and dog. I’d venture to guess that our friends and colleagues here would have at least somewhat different opinions.

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it takes a village

For me, one of the most interesting things to do in Benin is to drive along the beach on a  Saturday. Every few minutes you come upon tiny thatch homes lumped together into communities. There’s no running water or electricity, but the homes are literally on the beach, so I don’t think they have it so bad.

Just living life.

Especially interesting on Saturdays are the fishermen. At some point very early in the morning a giant net is cast, and then later in the day all the village men gather to pull it in. We encountered the men in the photo below last weekend. They had cast their net a several hour walk from their village, and in this photo they were pulling the net back home and hopefully, scooping up a good haul along the way.

Heading home.

You can’t see all the men in this photo, but there are several dozen on them. Every able bodied man in the village was there. Can you imagine every man in your community coming together to accomplish a shared goal? On a weekly basis, no less? I wish I could.

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babies at the beach

Our beachfront bungalow.

We headed off this past weekend on a much needed mini vacation to a beach resort about an hour and a half away. While definitely not relaxing (is there such thing as relaxing with a 14 month old?), the weekend was still far, far better than previous beach attempts in that it was not completely and utterly awful. Here are some things we’ve learned the hard way about taking babies to the beach:

(1) Never, ever, ever, ever take a crawler to the beach. A baby that’s not yet mobile?  No problem — pack up a baby carrier and a big blanket and you’re golden. A new walker? Also manageable, although be prepared to spend most of your vacation running. But a crawler? No. Just don’t do it unless you like being on guard every millisecond to snatch up that sand or seashell or crawly critter that’s quickly moving from ground to hand to mouth.

(2) You must stay for more than one night. The giant production necessary to get to the beach in the first place is not worth it for less than one night. You must also spring for the biggest and most luxurious room available. And you must feel no guilt about letting hotel staff carry your many, many bags to your room for you.

(3) Whatever new skills you are working on at home, forget about them. He wants to eat nothing but goldfish crackers? Fine. Our particular “just go with it” issue was the bottle. While Flynn hates sippy cups, he drinks from a cup himself at home, although he definitely still prefers bottles when they are available. At home we’re trying to move away from bottles entirely, but at the beach? You will notice a bottle in just about every photo. Whatever makes you happy, kid.

Something else we learned: to get Flynn to smile for photos, all you have to do is say "Abbey!"

(4) If there is such a thing as sunscreen that doesn’t act like a magnet to sand, pay whatever it costs. If not, and I fear not, then start snapping your “playing at the beach” photos the moment you step outside (sand covered babies are not pretty, people), and accept that you will be cleaning sand from hair and fingernails for days to come.

(5) Make friends with all families you find, or at least with the ones who brought the best toys.

He knows a good toy when he sees one. (This is not our porch.)

(6) Lower your expectations of adventure and spontaneity. Those kayaks? We totally would have taken them out… before baby. That delicious smelling side-of-the-road “restaurant” with only stool seating? We totally would have tried it out… before baby. Those fishermen who invited us to tag along with them on their all-day haul? That would have been so, so cool… before baby.

You may recognize this boat... (Hint, hint: December blog post called "Casa del Papa.")
Splish splash.

On the drive home Andy and I realized that we had each independently, while the other one was off somewhere else, told Flynn the exact same time. “You make things so difficult, kid, but you’re worth it.” And it’s true.

Despite returning home from our “relaxing” weekend away more tired than ever, it was worth it to see him filling his entire pail with sand and then working so hard to drag the heavy thing over to show it off to us. It was worth it to see him inserting himself into packs of bigger kids and talking gibberish to them until they let him play catch too. It was worth it to see him running with such excitement down the boardwalk to the pool. It was worth it to see him copping an inappropriate feel on a wooden mermaid statue.

Searching for seashells.

All worth it. Also probably worth it: next time, springing for a room for the nanny.

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ouidah

Around town.

Last weekend we traveled to Ouidah, a pleasant small city about an hour from Cotonou. There are certain benefits to living in Cotonou to be sure – access to great Thai and Indian food and decent sushi, for instance – but honestly, I’d rather live in Ouidah. It’s smaller, calmer. The streets are lined with small shops, and people sit out in front of them chatting and visiting. There are public spaces with real green grass. Much more so than in Cotonou, there’s a sense of community all around you.

Best buds.

There’s also a lot of history.

During the slave trade, people from throughout West Africa were brought to Ouidah where they were crammed into boats bound across the Atlantic, mostly for Brazil and the West Indies. The slave trade lasted four centuries, and during its height in the 18th century an estimated 25,000 slaves a year passed through Ouidah. Today a monument stands in the place from which they were marched out to sea.

The door of no return, it's called.

It’s interesting to hear Africans talk about the slave trade. They don’t just blame Westerners. In their view, the African chiefs who sold their own people to the Westerners are just as accountable.

Another stop on our Ouidah tour was the local history museum, housed in a former Portuguese fort. Most interesting to me were the exhibits about the eventual repatriation of former slaves, mostly from Brazil but from Haiti and Cuba too, and what they brought back and incorporated into Beninese culture.

I also strolled through the local market. What’s that you see, hair extensions perhaps?

From a distance...

Actually, no, not hair extensions at all. Animal tails in fact. Plus various other animal parts too.

Up close.

Now is probably a good time to tell you that Ouidah is known for more than just its slave history. It’s also Benin’s “voodoo capital.” I somehow stumbled into the voodoo section of the market. Table after table were filled with similar items.

Voodoo has existed in Benin forever but it’s been practiced in public since the government made it an official religion in 1996. There’s a voodoo museum. The country celebrations a national voodoo day. Contrary to popular belief, most voodoo is actually good stuff — summoning the positive spirits of ancestors. Although the bad stuff you’ve certainly heard more about exists too. Next time you see Andy in person, ask him about his curse.

And of course no visit to Ouidah is complete without a trip to the Python Temple. Why pythons? Voodoo practitioners consider pythons manifestations of the serpent god.

Never one to be outdone by his wife, Andy opted for the two python photo op.

This is nothing. Throw on a third.

 

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