on bidding

by Alex Posted on June 7, 2012

So, bidding.

Picking your next home is fun in theory, but there’s always a but. You get the list, and there are so many amazing possibilities, but…

  • You are only allowed to go to Russian speaking posts.
  • You have to go somewhere with special needs schools.
  • You need a country with a bilateral work agreement for your spouse.
  • Your kid says he’ll emancipate himself from you if you don’t go to a country where he can play hockey.

Those are just example buts. We all have them. Sometimes they’re mandated by the State Department, and other times they’re personal preferences. Either way, they impact how we bid.

Here are our specific buts:

  • We have to go to a post that’s either English or French speaking.
  • I have to serve a consular tour.
  • Abbey has to be able to come.
  • There has to be adequate medical care for Andy’s follow-up treatment.

Even after all those buts we have some really amazing options. Seriously amazing. I have to bid on 30 total jobs, and I could come up with an entire list of 30 that would make you all insansly jealous.

But…

We have another but to consider:

  • We want Andy to be a Foreign Service Officer too.

This whole tandem couple thing really throws a wrench in my bidding plans. Here’s what happens. This summer I bid and get my onward assignment. Then, next spring, Andy will join the Foreign Service. We will hope with all our hopes that another job at the Embassy I’ve been assigned appears on his bid list. If it does, we hope will all our hopes that he and not someone else in his A-100 class gets assigned to it. Obviously there are lots of points at which this plan could go south.

What if no jobs at the Embassy I’ve been assigned are on his list? What if there is a job at the same place I’ll be going, but another person gets it? Well, then Andy ships off somewhere else in the world and Flynn doesn’t get to live with both his parents for two years. That sucks.

So a huge factor in my bidding right now is maximizing the possibility that both my post will show up on Andy’s bid list (this means huge embassies) and that he will get it (this means places where other people aren’t dying to go).

As much as we would love to head off to Sydney or Dublin next, they are small and highly sought after posts, so they aren’t great options for us this time around. Sorry family and friends. Where will you be visiting instead? Stay tuned. We should know in about a month.

Posted in Tandem Issues | Tagged , , , | 11 Comments

baby on board

by Alex Posted on May 29, 2012
Brings a little perspective to the rear facing versus forward facing car seat debate, no?

Speaking of babies, we’re super excited that summer transfer season is  about to bring in lots of little friends for Flynn! Not only that, but also  adults who understand why a Sunday at a beach that’s an hour away and super hot and filled with sand and cigarette butts and glass that will immediately go in your kid’s mouth if you’re not watching every milli-second is not exactly relaxing.

But you know what is relaxing? When you get to go to the beach without your kid because some of your kidless colleagues got the silly idea that chasing after a one year old might be a fun way to spend the afternoon. God bless them.

 

Posted in Benin | 2 Comments

the bid list is here

by Andy Posted on May 26, 2012

We are five hours ahead of Washington, so that meant that when we left work yesterday at 1 p.m. local time (we always have short days on Fridays to make up for long days during the week), Alex’s bid list still hadn’t arrived.

“Ugh,” Alex groaned as we drove home. “It’s already 8 a.m. back there. Why hasn’t someone posted it yet?”

A few hours later, after checking her blackberry every 30 seconds, Alex looked up and interrupted the finale of The Amazing Race. “It’s here.”

Soon she was back at work printing the list so we could start to form our bidding strategy right away. The bids aren’t due for nearly a month, but we couldn’t wait.

The list contains over 400 jobs, but we need to narrow it down to just 30 to bid on. There are a lot of requirements though. Because Alex is a Public Diplomacy Officer this tour, she has to bid only on Consular tours. The timing of the start date has to work. With only a couple exceptions, it has to be an English or French language position. And the toughest obstacle, it should be a big enough post that it has a realistic chance of turning up on my bid list when I finally join an A-100 class next year (goodbye Lyon, hello Mumbai).

After we were done figuring out which posts had been eliminated, we were left with about 40. Of those 40, we’ve now put together a tentative list of 30. It changes about every 20 minutes. Maybe one post moves higher and another moves lower. Maybe we reconsider one of the posts we left off entirely. Maybe we find out that dogs aren’t allowed in certain places, so we find a replacement.

There’s still a lot more research to do, but overall we’re pretty happy with the list we’ve been given. The highest would be amazing posts. The lowest would still be acceptable. There’s nothing that would fill us with dread. For us the hardest part has been looking at the list and thinking, “Boy, if we weren’t trying to be a tandem couple, our top 20 picks would all be fantastic.”

And that, of course, is when I remind myself that technically, this is not our bid list, this is Alex’s bid list. Wherever she gets posted, we realize that there is a chance (maybe a good chance) I won’t get posted to the same place.

So in about six weeks when we get an email telling us where Alex will serve her Consular tour, we’ll (hopefully) celebrate. And then we’ll get back to figuring out the best way to make sure that same post is called right before my name on Flag Day next year.

Posted in Welcome | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

possibilities

by Alex Posted on May 23, 2012

This Friday I will receive my bid list.

On it there will be something like 300 jobs around the world, any of which I could theoretically be assigned. Of course, realistically, I know that I have to fulfill my consular requirement this time around, so that will whittle the list down to probably 200. Also, because I can’t spend any more time in training learning a language, I can only go to posts that require either English or French. That should bring the list to maybe 50. From there, I look at timing. If a particular position is opening months before or after I could get there, off my list it goes.

I’m supposed to bid on 30 jobs, ranked in order of my preference. Based on the past experiences of colleagues in similar positions, I don’t expect to even be eligible for that many. So the bottom of my list could look a little dicey. Or maybe I’ll be completely surprised and be able to bid on 30 amazing options. Until I get the list, who really knows.

Either way, the process is exciting. I think in fact that getting your bid list is even more thrilling than getting your actual assignment. Here are your world of possibilities. Ready, set, daydream.

Posted in FS Life | Tagged , , | 6 Comments

we’re old

by Alex Posted on May 23, 2012

This week we hosted an intern at our house for a few days before his more permanent summer housing situation was ready. He lived in Cotonou as a kid when his parents were missionaries, so it was interesting to tour town with him and hear what has and hasn’t changed in a decade. Basically, not a whole lot has changed. In a restaurant his family used to frequent we even ran into a woman who recognized him from ten years ago. No joke.

What Andy found most interesting of all was speculating about what this college student likely thought of us.

“You know, to him, we’re probably old people.”

“No!” I protested. “We’re young, we’re hip.”

“Think about it,” he insisted. “When you were in college, if you stayed with a married couple in their 30s, a couple who lived in a real house, with real furniture, who ate real dinners at a real dining room table – a couple who had a kid and a dog no less – you would have thought they were old, wouldn’t you?”

Silence from me.

“Wouldn’t you?” Andy repeated.

I thought back to college, when nothing hanging on my walls was in a frame. When I awoke to an alarm clock and not a crying baby monitor. When I was just getting ready to go out for the night at about the same time I now tuck into bed. When the one kitchen appliance I had was a toaster over, in which I only made ready-to-bake chocolate chip cookies. When, on the rare occasion I went out for dinner, I couldn’t justify to order a soda and part with an extra $2.

“Oh my god, you’re right. We are old, aren’t we? When did this happen?”

Posted in Personal | 4 Comments

getting stuff made

by Alex Posted on May 19, 2012

What Benin lacks in retail options it makes up for in affordable labor. Can’t find a dress you like? Have one made to order! Wish you’d brought another table for that awkwardly empty space in your house? Have one built!

So when I decided that I wanted Flynn to have a swing but knew a swing set would be too big to ship from the United States, I searched for a local carpenter. He came over, looked at photos of what we wanted, and then a week later came back with this.

Almost swing time.

Admittedly there were some minor issues. It’s shorter than we envisioned so we had to wrap the swing’s long chain around the top many times. But Flynn knows no different. He runs over to it, arms flapping, whenever we go outside. There’s space for a second swing when he’s bigger and capable of more than just the bucket, but for now it’s just perfect.

Wheee!

It turned out so well that I’m tempted to ask the carpenter to come back and make Flynn a slide… or a teeter totter… or a sandbox. It’s going to be a regular playground in our front yard by the time I’m done, just wait.

 

 

Posted in Benin | 5 Comments

birthday boy

by Alex Posted on May 17, 2012

It was sad not to be able to celebrate Flynn’s birthday with family, but we threw a party anyway and he got to depart babyville for toddlerland surrounded by about 25 adults and even 6 little ones with whom he graciously shared his toys, even the new ones. One of the best parts of the party for me was seeing him really enjoying playing with other kids, which is new. He even gave the sweetest little welcome hug to a certain three-year-old girl he’s played several times before.

Can Mom blow out the candles before Flynn grabs the open flames?

Looking back I think it’s pretty clear that we compensated for not being able to celebrate back home with family by bringing tastes of back home to the party. It was quite the American spread: cakes, cupcakes, Rice Krispy treats, Twizzlers, Jelly Bellys, M&Ms, Tootsie rolls, animal crackers, chocolate chip cookies, ice cream sundaes, mini pizzas, meatballs, chips and gaucamole and salsa, Goldfish crackers, Chex Mix, and so on.

Thank goodness we made tons of food because we ended up with one less cake than planned. Why? Flynn and Abbey teamed up to pull it off the dining room table the morning of the party. We found them like this.

Abbey made me do it.

That mishap aside, it was a lovely day. After the party we Skyped with grandparents and baked a new cake which Flynn got to smash in his face all over again, this time with no help from Abbey.

It’s still hard to believe it’s been a whole year since this.

Where am I? And who are you?

But it has. Our once helpless little ball of baby can now walk, run, twirl in circles, somersault, eat real food, kind of talk, hug, clap, wave, build block towers, open doors, climb stairs and ladders, and get into all kinds of trouble.

Happy birthday Flynn!

The shirt says it all.
Posted in Welcome | 2 Comments

simple tasks

by Alex Posted on May 10, 2012

It’s hard to explain to family and friends back home how exhausting life in Benin can be at times. It’s not just Benin — life in any foreign country, and especially a developing one. It’s interesting. It’s rewarding. But still, even seemingly simple tasks can be exhausting, especially at the end of a long work week. Here’s an example.

In the U.S., when we make homemade pizza, it goes a little something like this:

  1. Go to Trader Joe’s to buy ready to bake pizza dough, shredded cheese, canned pizza sauce, veggies, and meat toppings.
  2. At home, chop veggies and assemble pizza.
  3. Bake your pizza.
  4. Enjoy your pizza.
  5. Throw all dishes in the dishwasher.

In Benin, however:

  1. There’s no ready to bake dough here, so make pizza dough by hand.
  2. Exit house en route to grocery store. This is a step in and of itself because exiting your house involves many layers of locks and navigating a massive gate to which there is of course no automatic opener.
  3. On the way to the grocery store, stay alert and drive defensively. Expect to nearly be hit multiple times by vehicles whose drivers don’t seem to be following any logic — at least not logic that you can understand.
  4. When you get to the grocery store, be creative about parking. Any sidewalk or median will do.
  5. At the grocery store, buy a block of mozzarella cheese (for which you might pay as much as $20/pound). Search in vain for bacon.
  6. Go to another grocery store to look for bacon.
  7. And another.
  8. And another.
  9. And another.
  10. Finally find and buy bacon.
  11. Go to the fruit and vegetable market to find veggies. Somehow decide which of the dozen women tugging on your arm, begging you to come to her stand, gets to earn you business that day. Negotiate price and quantity in French.
  12. Come home and shred mozzarella cheese.
  13. Soak vegetables in water and bleach for 15 minutes to disinfect. Rinse with distilled water.
  14. Chop your veggies, fry your bacon, and assemble pizza. (Fortunately we have some canned pizza sauce for the U.S. so that saves a step.)
  15. Bake your pizza in the oven.
  16. When the power fritzes and your oven turns off, cross your fingers that the generator kicks on quickly. When it does, reset the oven and hope for the best.
  17. Enjoy your homemade pizza.
  18. Wash and dry all dishes by hand.

Preparing this one meal took half a day. An exhausting half-day. And yet we’re actually very lucky to be in a place where we can find vegetables and are allowed to move freely in public.

Still, next time we want pizza we’ll probably just go out.

Like father, like son.
Posted in FS Life | Tagged , , , , , | 5 Comments

beninese baptism

by Alex Posted on May 6, 2012
Can you spot us?

Andy was raised Catholic and has said all along that he wanted to have Flynn baptized. That was just fine with me. Religiously I’m Unitarian if anything, which in case you don’t know is of the all-religions-have-some-truth-and-should-be-embraced persuasion. So Catholicism? Sure. He can be Catholic. He will also learn about other religions and be free to make his own decisions when the time comes, which is perhaps not exactly what the Catholic church has in mind, but so it goes.

Anyway, though we agreed to baptize Flynn, we’ve been a little overwhelmed since he was born so we put the whole baptism thing on the back burner until now. Looking back I’m not sure why we didn’t pull the trigger sooner. It really was no work at all. Luckily for us Flynn’s nanny Marie is very very Catholic and was very very excited about the idea of helping facilitate Flynn’s baptism. All we had to do was give her the okay and she ran with it — finding a church near our house, arranging a meeting with the priest, shuttling us to said meeting, helping us decipher exactly what paperwork was needed, delivering said paperwork back to the church, wrangling us to a practice session and then finally escorting us to the baptism itself, where she served as Flynn’s stand-in godparent in the absence of the godparents we chose for him who live back in the States.

We had a choice between a private or a group baptism but decided the group one would be more interesting. It definitely was. At the practice session the night before we learned at least one interesting thing: American babies are whiny. Flynn is actually a generally good, quiet baby, but he’s a baby and when forced to sit still for an extended period of time, babies fuss. Or so I thought. Apparently it’s just American babies that fuss. Every last one of those Beninese babies was quiet and angelic. It was bizarre. Marie says it’s because Flynn’s American and not used to the heat, but he’s lived in Benin just about as long as these other babies so I’m not sure he can really get away with that excuse. It remains a mystery.

Outside for five minutes and already pink all over.

Probably 30 to 40 babies and their parents and godparents all gathered out in front of the church for some administrative rigmarole. The priest went around one by one to confirm each baby’s name, and because of both language and religious barriers I thought at first he was asking for the Catholic name. “Oh my God we didn’t pick one! I can’t think up something like this on the spot!” I panicked to Andy. He, being an actual Catholic, was able to reassure me that the naming thing happens at confirmation, not baptism, and that the priest was just asking for Flynn’s actual name. Phew.

Another phew: just about as soon as we moved into the church Flynn fell into a deep, deep sleep. This was very good news because the options at this time of day were either sleep or an overtired mess of awfulness, which would have seemed even more awful compared to those quiet, angelic Beninese babies. But luckily he slept through the songs, through the readings. He slept through being blessed. He even slept through having a whole cup of water poured on his head.

Yep, still sleeping.

He did wake up right at the end of the ceremony just in time for some photos.

Flynn's fan club.

And by the time we left the church and arrived at the ice cream parlor to celebrate, he was of course wide awake. Definitely awake enough to demand to sample some out of everyone’s bowl.

“We’re awful parents,” I complained to Andy as I spooned ice cream into Flynn’s wide open mouth. “He’s eaten nothing but junk today. First pancakes, then graham crackers and now this.”

Andy’s reply: “Eh, we got his soul saved today, so I think in the end we come out ahead.”

Posted in Benin | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

magic

by Andy Posted on May 1, 2012
Welcome!

Today is Labor Day in Benin, so with our day off, we decided to take Flynn somewhere we had been meaning to go for a long time – Magic Land. It’s a small amusement park barely a half mile from our house.

This is Magic Land.

We had been putting off going because it has been so hot lately, but finally decided that today was going to be the day. We resisted until around 9:45 in the morning (we had been awake since 5 a.m., thanks buddy), not really knowing whether it would even be open. Lucky for us, it was. And even luckier, in the hour we were there, we saw no other guests, so we had the whole place to ourselves.

My Magic Land rule: Flynn cannot ride anything that could cause death if it broke. Fast spinning swings count.

Flynn wasn’t big enough for many of the rides, but there were plenty of slides for him to go down. There were also lots of small cars for him to sit in that would rock back and forth. They were just like the ones you find outside a grocery store in the U.S. You know, the ones where you put in a quarter and the car tips this way and that. Of course here there was one key difference. Instead of putting a coin in a slot, you tell the man working there you’d like to ride it and he rubs two exposed wires together like he is jump starting a car. The ride starts right up. Magic Land indeed!

Like our ball pit at home, but bigger and scarier.

Even though it was still relatively early in the morning, it was very hot and humid. Fortunately, much of Magic Land is covered, so the shade gave us some relief.

He didn't smile but he also didn't cry.

Flynn’s reaction to most of the rides at Magic Land could best be described as “indifferent.” However, if he were just a little bit older, we think there would be a few more things there he could be interested in, including a giant blow up castle (not blown up during this visit) and a little train that ran around a track about 100 feet long, and even had a small hill.

A swing sort of thing.

We were also surprised by how inexpensive Magic Land is. There was a small fee to get in, and then additional fees for each ride (playground excluded). Flynn didn’t go on many of the rides that cost extra money, so we got out of there for about $5 total.

Apparently this one's a little boring.

All in all, we enjoyed Magic Land. It was a good way to see something new in Cotonou. We plan on going back when Flynn is a little older so maybe he can enjoy a few more of the attractions. In the meantime, he’ll have to be content with the new jungle gym they just set up at the embassy.

Magic Land - Just like Disney Land, but with more copyright infringement.
Posted in Benin | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments